Wow, hard to believe it's that time again...We have been doing the March for Babies Walk now for 5 years!
This year I was honored to be asked to be the California State Family Teams Co-chair!
If you would like to walk with us or donate money to our team, here is the link to do so: McCarthy Family Team
I created this video for the walk 2 years ago, every time I go back and watch it I remember how amazing my daughter is and how much she has been through.
(and still going through). Last night she want to the hospital to have a chest xray as her crappy lungs just can't handle getting sick. and she has walking pneumonia...
Well this has nothing to do with our kids...except to show where daddy has been for the last few years..
I'm so proud of my husband I had to share:
For all of you who know that Brian’s “hobby” has been building a 4x4 Rock Buggy, well, after 2 years… it’s done!
He entered in the “Last Chance Qualifier (LCQ)” for the big King of the Hammers Race in Johnson Valley (down in the LA desert)… and lo and behold he did great and finished…Well he not only finished but he finished #8 out of 120 entrants, VERY IMPRESSIVE…. so he got himself a space in the King of the Hammers race which is Friday.
He built the entire buggy by hand (with a lot of help from his friend Shawn Heywood) but without any sponsors…
This is a REALLY BIG deal.
His brand new-just finished buggy has only been out of the shop 2 times….In all of Brian’s rock crawling “career” he’s probably driven 50 miles (if that…)
His co-pilot for the race (who has also sacrificed a lot of time with his family) is Shawn Heywood…
The King of the Hammers 2011 (2/11/11) is a grueling 120 mile fast race over dessert sand as well as major rocks, boulders, hills… There are exactly 100 entrants in the race. They will leave 2 at a time in 2 minute intervals, one after another and the first over the finish lines wins. Brian’s starting time in the cue is actually quite good (In the top 40 - based on his impressive finish in the LCQ).
It will take them about 12 hours…his goal is to finish, many buggy's tip over, break or any other number of things….be safe boys.
This video clip from the last 2 days of of the LCQ race was just posted and I thought I had to share (it doesn’t include brian in the clip, but it’s worth watching). This video REALLY shows how amazing this race is:
I did attach a few pictures that were taken of Brian’s #415 buggy during yesterday’s LCQ that I found online (I’m home with the kids).
Well Brian is home safe and sound, (he was tired and DIRTY), but made it home safely. Heres a picture of hte buggy parked in front of our house.
During the race, Brian's engine cooling fans (even the back up one) both seized up (maybe do to the amazing dust?) so he only made it to mile 18 (of 120). Of the 100 racers, only 44 finished the race. THis is ONE tough race.
The cool thing is that someone took and posted a video of part of his qualifying run, here is the video:
Last year I posted Corinne's name to be "written" in the sand in Australia by a wonderful, amazing woman who lost a child and gives back to all of us by writing our children's names in the sand.
Of course tears sprang to my eyes.
I thought you might like to see Corinne's name with a beautiful sunset:
Today I sent this email to my friends in my local SF Bay Area Twinless Twin Support Group:
Hi Everyone, I’m so sorry for having been so absent the last year, where has the time gone…I had way too much on my plate.
But a number of things have made me realize how much I miss the support from all of you, and would love to try to plan a dinner date for after the holidays.
1. I know how hard the holidays are for everyone..I know how sad I feel and wanted to reach out to all of you in support.
2. Kaitlyn turned 5 year this and I absolutely LOST it at her birthday party, much worse than for her prior birthdays…I had to leave the room as I was sobbing.
3. I took her to the Nutcracker last night and lost it there too…Kaitlyn watched enthralled, sittinng on my lap as tears were streaming down my face for the first 30 minutes of the ballet – will this ever stop…tears for being so happy that Kaitlyn and I were at the nutcracker, tears that I'm a mother, tears for the fact that Kaitlyn was still with me after all she's been through, tears for missing her sister, tears for oh I don’t know, I couldn’t stop them…
4. Today was the annual candle lighting world wide ceremony at 7pm…for the compassionate friends Network..where you are to light a candle in memory of children who have passed too soon.
5. Not sure if you heard on the news, but a few days ago an 18 month old twin fell into a fountain in SF, and I just heard the twin passed away. I'm just heart broken for this family, as I know a bit of what their future will feel like....
My love, thoughts, compassion and prayers go out to all of your during the holiday season..
...and to all of my blog readers who have been through loss or hardship during this holiday season...
I finally got my scale to work (funny that I used to use it every day for Kaitlyn), Quinn is 29 months old and weighs a whopping 23 pounds..
How small is that? he is a whopping 1% on the growth charts, that's less than Kaitlyn was at this age. Here is a chart if you want to check your child's weight.
I feel like I've just gotten out of some sort of sick time suck machine or something. Oh and did I mention that I have 2 young children and I work full-time selling houses (and have had a busy year selling houses too!)
Here is a recap:
Trip #1: Michigan for Cousin Jens' wedding: Starting with my cousin Jen's wedding on September 18th in Traverse City, Michigan, I've been on the go for about 7weeks.
All of my cousins on my mother's side - I'm the eldest, (but certainly not the tallest). RtoL: Brother Gary, Chris, me, Kathy, Jen and Christina
I went on this trip solo, as it was going to be too much money to take the kids to the wedding and hard to manage young children at a wedding. We already had that experience earlier in the year (May) for my step-brothers wedding in New Jersey.
Then for the 2 weeks I was home I got a luxury home into contract that ended up being extremely stressful and I lost a lot of sleep over it. It took up every minute while I was home (and away too).
Trip #2: Kaitlyn's birthday party and Los Angeles for WCR CA State.
Planned and celebrated Kaitlyn's Birthday party on October 2nd, then flew that afternoon to Los Angeles (Anaheim), where I attended the WCR State of CA meeting (I'm the 2010 President of the Marin Women's Council of Realtors).
Trip #3: Brother Gary's wedding
Returned and then left the following week for my Brothers wedding, which was a whirlwind 5 days, with all the family events. Kaitlyn was the flower girls and I was my brothers best "woman". Trip #4: Atlanta Georgia for Preemie Parent Summit Home for a few days, then left for Atlanta Georgia. I was honored to be invited to attend (at no cost to me) the first annual National Association of Preemie Parent Summit. The attendees (all preemie parents) have all started non-profits or are influential in the supporting preemie parents. I was invited primarily due to the Micro Preemie support group I started (the link can be found here: http://www.micropreemies.com/ Which now has over 700 members, but also because I run a local SF Bay Area Preemie support group, a twinless twins support group, a feeding therapy support group and am very involved with March of Dimes (ambassador family for the last 2 years, Bay Area Family Teams Chair, and now the CA state family teams chair).
It was a wonderful summit, I had intended to write more and do a summary, but as luck had it, I had to leave the following week again and just didn't have the time.
Trip #5: Halloween Party, Giants Win and New Orleans for National WCR and NAR We hosted a progressive Halloween street party (we have 5 good family friends on our street that all have children the same ages as ours) at our house, then the Giants won the world series the following day (11/1). I left early the next morning on Tuesday and headed to New Orleans for almost a week. I went one day early to see my wonderful friends (ex-aunt & uncle in-laws) then spent the rest of the time in conference rooms and sessions for the National Women's Council of Realtors conference and the National Association of Realtors conference. As President of my chapter, I had to vote in elections and came away with a lot of great new tech tips.
A Blackberry self-portrait -Liz, Judy LeMarr and Sylvie Zolezzi (Marin Chapter of Realtors) out listening to Jazz in New Orleans!
I'm preparing now to do a presentation next week for our local chapter, am preparing for my last board meeting as president tomorrow.
I seem to have misplaced my camera in all of these trips, so hopefully I can find it to post a few pictures I took.
I'm hoping you'll understand why I haven't been blogging.
I literally don't know how I've stayed afloat the last few months...But finally feel now that I get to "relax" over the holidays! Funny how that sounds!
Well with all that said and done, I've just found out that I was nominated for an Influential Mom contest. I"m in the top 10 and in the running to win an iPad!
Please vote for me, here is the link: Voting is open until 11/17!
My "little brother" got married on October 16th! I was the "Best Woman" for the wedding and Kaitlyn was the flower girl!
Here are a few pictures from the big day:
The morning of the wedding, Gary (as a former professional runner) had "The First Non-Annual Pre Wedding Day 5 K" It was too much fun! As the Official "Best Woman" giving my speach to the happy couple!
I wish I could say that Kaitlyn's party came off without a hitch, but no unfortunately, that wasn't to be the case.
I stupidly put the lighter in my pocket as I was carrying out the cake to Kaitlyn during her Happy Birthday song, and promptly the cake slid right off the tray and crashed on the ground. It was horrible, probably didn't help that I was tearing up anyways as I was singing, feeling very emotional for my girls 5th birthday - even more than in the past few years. I don't know why, maybe 5 is a anniversary type number or something...I was really missing Corinne and all that - I wish Corinne had lived one more day so that the 4th wasn't both the girls birthday and Corinne's day of passing.
Later I was able to laugh about the cake, but still was emotionally about the whole birthday thing. I think some attendees thought I was overly upset about the cake sliding...I was bummed, but mainly because I had Corinne's name on the corner of the cake, and I wanted to say something about both of them after the song was sung...I think that's what I was sad over.. I hope that someday birthdays will be easier and less emotional for me. That day wasn't a good day...October 4th...sigh.
Well, here is the cake slide on video! You don't see it in the video, but afterwards I promptly went in the house and sobbed.
Well, life has been an extra whirlwind lately, I've gone on 4 trips (1 more to come): My cousin married in Michigan (my home state), I attended a WCR real estate conference in Anaheim (I left on the day of Kaitlyn's birthday party), My brother got married in Camarillo, CA, I was invited to attend a Parent Preemie Summit in Atlanta, and I leave next Tuesday for another real estate conference - in New Orleans (my last official trip as President of Marin Women Council of Realtors). Phew. I've also been very busy with work, Kaitlyn has been sick for 3 weeks straight, she got better, then both she and her brother just got sick again in time for Halloween. Wow, it's been crazy!
Wow, Kaitlyn will be 5 years old next week. How can that be?
Last night I watched the video I made 2 years ago for Kaitlyn and Corinne for the March of Dimes. I don't watch it often, or look at Kaitlyn's baby pictures as often I as I used to, but this time I watched it, although I teared up, I was able to look at Kaitlyn then and compare her to all of her wonderfulness now. In a way it was hard for me to believe that she was actually that small, that tiny, that sick....
Later that night, as I lay in bed next to Kaitlyn I was filled with joy as I thought of all the wonderful things my daughter has accomplished so far in her short life and how incredible proud I was of her and how much I wanted to wake her up and tell her that I was honored to be her mother.
Then it hit me, I missed Corinne. I had so recently in the evening saw pictures of my Corinne and my heart and arms were empty for my one daughter while at the same time feeling such joy at my other daughter. I gasped out in horrible sorrow, wanting more. Wanting to have had a normal twin experience. Wanting both my full term healthy twins to be with me in bed...Will this raw emotion feeling ever go away....
October 4th. Kaitlyn is soooo excited about her birthday party this Saturday. She counts down the days every morning when we wake up. She is just the joy of my life.
For this years birthday cake I asked them to write Corinne's name in the corner of the cake along with Kaitlyn's big name. I need her to be honored on the day that she was born and that she passed away.
So many moms think of joy and the memories of the birth of their first child on their birthdays...October 4th is still a day that isn't joyous for me
Hard to believe that Kaitlyn was 100% tube fed not that long ago. This video is for all of my micro and other mom friends whose children are fed via feeding tube. There is HOPE. I was totally hopeless not that long ago. Kaitlyn eats now like a regular kid (and then some). Watch her devour Sushi! (Wish I filmed the whole dinner as she was eating like she had never been fed before). I think she's going through a major growth spurt!
The other morning Kaitlyn told me that she dreamt about: "scuba divers, hospitals and chickens." Just wanted to remember that one for the memory book!
I always ask her about her dreams and she can come up with the most amazing, things. Most of the time I think she has no idea what was in her dreams and just comes up with something imaginative. I just loved thinking about what a crazy dream scuba divers, hospitals and chickens. My daughter certainly has a wonderful imagination!
Today was Kaitlyn's first day of Preschool (for the 3rd time). The class that she is in now is a different class (for 4 year olds, even though Kaitlyn is turning 5 in a month). She was a bit nervous in the bigger class, but settled right in when she saw all of her friends. She really is one amazing tough little girl that isn't afraid of much.
Her special ed class started last week, and she is doing that 2 days a week, and preschool 4 days a week (Thursday's overlap and are going to be a bit long for her, we'll see how she does).
Kaitlyn is getting very excited this year for her birthday, but (lucky for mom) doesn't care much about what her party is all about, just that it has birthday cake, candle (with a number 5 on it), balloons and a bounce house! (no princess themed parties for my little one!).
I was thinking yesterday of this time back in 2005. As my water broke on July 26th 2005 (how I'll never forget that life changing date) and I was still on bed rest now in September...months later...wow crazy to think about.
I found today a book where I noted what Kaitlyn weighed every day (I know that sounds neurotic, but I was looking at the overall average) when she was still tube fed. I discovered today that at age 2 Kaitlyn weighed 23 pounds and Quinn only weighs 21 pounds! I knew he was a little guy. He is such a picky eater. Trying to find foods that he likes while at the same time trying to not "bend" to make him more of a picky eater as he REALLY does need to gain some weight. Quinn hates pasta and bread! What kid hates mac and cheese?
I guess I look at my brother and I. We were skinny. Really skinny. I wore size 0 for many years as a teenager. I remember my mom making me drink protein shakes to try to gain weight. My brother is still really skinny (being a world class Marathon runner and all - he was 7th in the US a few years ago for the Olympic Trials). So all in all, I'm going to have skinny kids. Not a bad thing right? I'm trying not to stress over it and just try to feed them healthy food (wish I was a bit better at that due to lack of time), at least they both like broccoli and carrots!
We went to the beach on Labor Day in West Marin. It was sooo beautiful and the weather was perfect. It was nice to take time off with the family. The beach is about 45 minutes from our house out windy roads. We went to a beach called Drakes Beach, which is where Sir Francis Drake landed many years ago. Lots of history there. Kaitlyn (my daughter who has very few fears) was terrified of the waves. She hates the sound of it and it terrifies her (even though ironically she sleeps to a sound machine with ocean sounds). Such a clear example of her Sensory Issues. She can fall down and be bleeding and you'll hardly hear a peep out of her, but she won't venture anywhere near the waves without having a severe breakdown of anxiety.
I stupidly didn't take a single picture, we were having too much fun! But here are a few other recent pictures:
Quinn at the pool this weekend Kaitlyn after she saw her friends and wasn't nervous any more Kaitlyn a little nervous after first arriving (playing with fireman toys!) Before school Before School...Look how big I'm getting! (Kaitlyn tells me every day that she's bigger! I really think she's going through a growth spurt as she's eating a LOT and even when I look at her she seems taller to me.)
I truly think the best thing about birthdays now is watching it through my kids eyes! I can't believe I've just turned 44, doesn't seem possible, I don't have time to feel 44 chasing after 2 young children!
Here is Kaitlyn singing me happy birthday. Her voice continues to get louder, but still is clearly quiet due to her left paralyzed vocal cord. This just brings joy to my heart and makes birthdays all that more special!
Here are some other recent pictures:
We just returned from a wonderful 5 day camping trip in the Sierras at Gold Lake. You have to 4wheel drive into this lake, but it was the first time I felt I was at a serene, private, back-packing like lake since I had children. It was soo amazingly beautiful. But camping with 2 young children isn't the easiest thing to do, but it was 100% worth it! Thanks for "dragging" me out kicking and screaming about taking care of 2 kids with no running water or bathrooms, Brian - I loved every minute of it and would do it again in a heartbeat! :)
The kids at a recent local air show. I knew they would be so excited, because every time a plane flies overhead they both go crazy!
Kaitlyn flying the CHP plane!
And trying out a Navy helmet.
Quinn REALLY loving to imitate his dad mowing the lawn! Too cute!
Quinn's 2nd haircut! He did great and got a "big-boy" haircut, which was sort of sad for mom.
Quinn eating lunch in the back of my car, LOVING having a tail-gate camping, great for diaper changes too!
Mom and Quinn out on a little stroll in the Sierras!
Mom, Kaitlyn and Quinn at our private lake-side camp site. (Kaitlyn has blue face paint on her nose)
So beautiful and peaceful!
At our friends campsite next campsite where we did all the cooking and hanging out at night.
so beautiful! I haven't been at a private, serene lake like this since I've had children (lots of memories of Brian and I back-packing trips)
The McCarthy's camping A bit too cold for me (and for the kids, as they went 5 days without a bath, I at least did jump in)
Dad and Kaitlyn!
Kaitlyn and Jordyn in the "buggy". Brian and I took his friend's Sean's Buggy to go way up 4wheeling, a nice little break from the kids. My heart was racing the whole time! Don't think I have the "nerves" for 4-wheeling some of the terrain we went on!
My Land-cruiser (thankfully made it to the campsite) parked near the 4-wheel buggy.
Kaitlyn is going to camp this summer and I can't tell you how many time's I've just watched in sweet awe as I dropped her off at camp feeling how lucky I am to live within walking distance to this wonderful camp and community and how lucky I felt to be a mom.
On Friday they had an all camp Talent Show. Each of the age groups did a little number. I was able to go and watch (yeah, a break from work) and as soon as I sat down in the back of the room, I started tearing up. Then I really broke down and the poor mom next to me asked if I was ok.
The emotions sometimes of everything are right there under the surface. I'm always so surprised by it. This time I just felt joyous for being a mom and for being able to experience this. I was brought back to wanting a child so badly after years of trying and not having any luck (for what ever reason). Then of course the emotion was for how elated I was that Kaitlyn was here, experiencing this camp and how much love I felt for her.
And then lastly, it was sadness, for feeling the loss that her sister should be here experiencing it at the same time.
I literally almost cried through the whole "bumble bee" song (Kaitlyn is in the Bumble bee camp for 4 year olds) and as they acted out being lions from the Lion King. It was soo cute!
Anyway, maybe I am lame, but I think I'm just a mom and so eternally grateful to be a mom that has been able to experience so much through the miracle of my little wonderful amazing daughter (and son!).
Neighborhood Camping trip in June wow that's a lot of small kids!
Kaitlyn on camping trip
Kaitlyn drawing up a storm
Dad and Kaitlyn eating ice cream on the "Shore" in Ocean City NJ.
Liz, Quinn and Kaitlyn at wedding Rehearsal Dinner.
Liz and Kaitlyn at ceremony (you'll see that in almost any picture Kaitlyn is ALWAYS holding something)
Liz, Brian, Quinn and Kaitlyn (in a rare all family members present and looking at the camera picture)
Quinn on the Shore (amazing picture)
Cousin Charlotte (flower girl) and Kaitlyn at wedding
Kaitlyn and Quinn on the shore
Cousins DJ, Charlotte and Kaitlyn
Last weekend, all of our kids eating! Normally a picture of kids eating, no big deal! But the moms (not shown in picture) met because of our kids feeding tubes!) (well, 3 of our kids in picture). We got together for a sleep over and had a blast!
Kaitlyn throwing down tacos (she ate the entire one she's holding the other one on the plate and another 1/2!) No kidding! I was so amazed I had to take pictures, others thought I was crazy for being so amazed my child was eating. This was at our neighbors "tack truck" birthday party.
Kaitlyn in one of her "moods" at our neighborhood community party in the park
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