Sunday, December 12, 2010

Twins...Tears..and the Nutcracker

Today I sent this email to my friends in my local SF Bay Area Twinless Twin Support Group:

Hi Everyone, I’m so sorry for having been so absent the last year, where has the time gone…I had way too much on my plate.

But a number of things have made me realize how much I miss the support from all of you, and would love to try to plan a dinner date for after the holidays.

1. I know how hard the holidays are for everyone..I know how sad I feel and wanted to reach out to all of you in support.

2. Kaitlyn turned 5 year this and I absolutely LOST it at her birthday party, much worse than for her prior birthdays…I had to leave the room as I was sobbing.

3. I took her to the Nutcracker last night and lost it there too…Kaitlyn watched enthralled, sittinng on my lap as tears were streaming down my face for the first 30 minutes of the ballet – will this ever stop…tears for being so happy that Kaitlyn and I were at the nutcracker, tears that I'm a mother, tears for the fact that Kaitlyn was still with me after all she's been through, tears for missing her sister, tears for oh I don’t know, I couldn’t stop them…

4. Today was the annual candle lighting world wide ceremony at 7pm…for the compassionate friends Network..where you are to light a candle in memory of children who have passed too soon.

5. Not sure if you heard on the news, but a few days ago an 18 month old twin fell into a fountain in SF, and I just heard the twin passed away. I'm just heart broken for this family, as I know a bit of what their future will feel like....

My love, thoughts, compassion and prayers go out to all of your during the holiday season..

...and to all of my blog readers who have been through loss or hardship during this holiday season...


Anonymous said...

Hey Liz,

I know that when Charlize's 5 year anniversary/birthday came, it was SO hard. This year was 7 years. I did not cry one tear I don't think. I don't know why but I was ok.I think about her daily still and talk to her of course but I am ok now. I know you will be too :)


Anonymous said...

Hey Liz, I've been reading your blog for some time, I was just wondering, before Corrine traveled up to Heaven, were you and Brian informed whether or not she and K were identical?

liz.mccarthy said...

Hmm, well, my twins were IVF, and they were in their own sacs and were fraternal (I guess there was always the chance that they were identical, but that's highly unlikely). as all 3 embryos took that we transfered (I miscarried my triplet at 10 weeks).

The Preemie said...

I wanted to know that I came across your blog and that you definitely carry an inspiring story. We have placed you on our website for other Preemie Parents to find you. Here is the url:.

Thanks again for all you do. I as a parent of a 30 weeker enjoy reading stories from other parents, it truly heals the heart.

Anonymous said...

They could only have been identical if they shared a placenta. Identical twins with separate sacs and placentas (di/di) split between 1-3 days after fertilization (before implantation) and IVF embryos or blasts are transferred after that period of time (usually 3 or 5 days). Because of this timing all IVF identical twins are either mono/di or mo/mo.