Saturday, June 28, 2008

Saturday update

Well, I've been home now since Tuesday (was it Tuesday? I've lost track of time).

I've been soo happy to be home, trying to get some things taken care of (desk/work things) in case I end up back in the hospital for the duration. It's amazing when you feel like time is working against you how much there is to do!

All's been well until yesterday when I started bleeding again, small, dark again, but none-the-less, it's definitely new, as the few days prior it had hardly been anything at all.

I had started feeling really frustrated about my lack of freedom/movement when everything seemed just fine to me, but I do know that this is likely what is going to happen and that it IS important for me to stay off my feet (which I've been doing).

Kaitlyn is having a tough time, she can't understand why mom can't lift her or do the things I used to do (bathing, feeding, playing) etc. The main thing we do is read books on the couch together, I can't seem to do much more with her as she gets very agitated/and moves around a lot which ends up being sharp elbows in my baby-belly which obviously isn't good. It's just her "normal" self, always on the go, not liking to sit still, but it's making things tough.

Brian's working his 3rd day in a row right now, thank goodness for our amazing nanny....Wow, were would we be without her?

So many friends/neighbors/moms have been coming by bringing me meals, which have been so appreciated, this way my nanny just heats up the food for me and brings it to me. I'm feeling more up-beat then when I left the hospital, amazing what being at home does to your spirits.

I am getting a bit stir-crazy, as not only am I off my feed and house-bound, but the crazy fires we are having in California are wrecking havoc with our air, and we have to keep our windows shut 24/7 as it's so smoky outside.

I will be 32 weeks this Wednesday. Belly is really starting to grow, and the little guy is kicking and moving like crazy! (a good thing as far as I'm concerned so I know he's safe)

Monday, June 23, 2008

Monday Update

Unfortunately I had quite a number of contractions last night at midnight, so I was given a shot of Terbulatine "Terb" which is given to control contractions. It makes your heart race and makes you all jittery, so it's no fun but it worked.

Now I'm still at the hospital, after thinking I'd be at home already today by noon.

We'll see how the day goes.

Thanks everyone for your emails/ posts and offers of support. I have limited email connectivety, I can read emails on my cell phone, but can't seem to send emails currently.

I know (assuming I make it home) or even if I don't that my main concern is obviously Katilyn. We are very lucky that are care-giver has offered to help, but as she doesn't drive and needs to be there by 6:30 am when Brian goes to work for 24 hours is making things a bit tricky. Brian is back at work today and our care-giver is home with Kaitlyn.

Tuesday update:

I'm home! I was "released" last night at 4pm and was so happy to come home, take a shower and spend some time with Kaitlyn. Sleeping in my own bed was Divine. So far so good in the bleeding department...Let's just hope this guy and my placentia behave!

I'm on limited activity/bedrest, very bummed about loosing my freedom, but I have to say I'm in a much better frame of mind about not doing it in the hospital. For those of you out there that are on bedrest, especially the ones on hospital bedrest. Hang in there, it's a very hard thing to do, even though you know you are making these sacrifices for such an important reason. I know I go through all sorts of thoughts every day myself.

Saturday, June 21, 2008

All is quiet in the hosptial

Well, not much news here from my hostpial bed, which is obviously GREAT news.

My bleeding is still very limited, really more spotting, very dark. it's looking VERY likely that I'll be relseased to go home on Monday on bedrest with some limited activity.

I'm going stir crazy, boy how easily I forgot how hard bed-rest is, I'm back to mourning the life of being a healthy pregnant woman once again. I keep thinking of how much I was enjoying just being pregnant and "living my life" that I never go to do before.

I guess I could sit here and feel sorry for myself (which I'm doing some of), but at the same point know how lucky I am that I'm over 30 weeks now. But really, why do I seem to have the luck.

That's life from the 'fast-lane' here in a San Francisco hospital bed.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

24 Hours

OK, I think I forgot how much bedrest sucks, especially when it's in the hospital!

I've been here now for more than 24 hrs...

have had both doses of steroids, I'm feeling flushed (my cheeks are red) and am not feeling all that great.. forgot about the side-affects, must be the steroids.

Had some larger bleeding this morning, still older blood so hoping that it was just the clot coming out (the peri said we should be expecting it) and still have some more spotting. I'm here for the weekend either way, and will be reassed at that point whether I can leave or not. I have have red bleeding, I'm here for the duration.

After one day on bed-rest I forgot how miserable it is. I think it gets easier over time. (from what I recall). I think in the beginning you forget out much it SUCKs to loose your freedom. I got downgraded today to a different room, which is tiny and I'm going stir crazy.

dad and Kaitlyn came to visit again, but it's really hard to have K here, she wants to pull off my contraction monitor, my iv out of my arm (nothing attached, just the port for emergency if needed) and every other cord she sees every where and when on the bed with me elbows my belly (no good) as she doesn't really like (or isn't able) to sit still. I read her a few books which was great, but it was stressful to have her here in this tiny room. SUCKS. I miss her, I miss my freedom.

But as soon as she walked in the door I remembered why it's all worth it, for this little guy inside of me.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

I feel in deja vu....

Where to start, well, should just get right into it...

I've been admitted to my L&D Hospital (CPMC in San Francisco for at least 4 days........

Backing up to yesterday, around noon I noticed (sorry if this is TMI for you) a dark brown swath on my panty-liner, clearly dried blood. Dried, very dark not a ton, but enough that came out and made a streak (as opposed to a spot). Call my Perinatologist...Said take it easy, it's dark old blood by your description of the color. I had it again in the evening. I tried to take it as easy as I could but I was on my own after 4pm with a 26lb toddler that still has to have diaper changes, feeding therapy, bath and put into crib (as easy as all that is).

Didn't sleep well (obvious reasons of being scared) and haven't slept well in general the last handful of nights with all that's been going on....Grandma gravely ill and then passing, Brian being out on a dangerous strike team, lack of money, you know that sort of stuff.

In the late morning, had another swath, so called my peri again, They wanted me to come in for a scan at 1pm...I CONTEMPLATED packing a few things, (namely my computer, toiletry bag, phone charger) but I thought no, this is such a small amt that he's going to just send me back home on restrictions and see what happens.

Upon getting the u/s, baby boy looks great. Cervix looks long, no noticeable contractions, then he wanted to do the wonder-wand vaginal internal exam and saw a pool of blood right behind my cervix, which means its' coming from my Placenta Previa (and this is what we have been fearful of). he was quite quiet for a bit and I knew he was determining what he wanted me to do, he finally spoke and said you are not going to like what I"m going to say, (my gut was saying that go home on strict bedrest), but no, he wanted to admit me ASAP. I asked if I could go home pack somethings, as I was currently wearing flip-flops, a floral skirt and a tshirt, my cell phone charge was almost out, and had nothing,....oh and my the way my husband was out of town in an area that had little to no cell reception, and my nanny at home with Kaitlyn speaks little english. So could I go home first? He asked where I lived in SF, I said I lived in North Marin, 25 min from the hospital basically (with no traffic), he said he really didn't advise I go there. He said the main risk of severe bleeding/abuption happening is 48 hours after the bleed started, (which was noon yesterday).

So with that, They found me a translator who spoke to my nanny and said she was fine to do whatever to help....(what a relief)...Left brian a message as to the news, and said once he got home to call me so I could tell him what to pack for me. My cell phone died not long after that (I got out a few text messages filling some folks in) And no way to charge it until Brian showed up.

So with that, I drive myself to CPMC. was feeling very calm in fact, thinking that this WASN'T it (but ha, I said that I wasn't going to deliver the night that I did too) but I'm still trying the positive thinking.

Just a few days ago I told Brian, laying on the couch after he got back from the fire that I was feeling so great, that this pregnancy thing was pretty damn cool, i loved my belly, feeling my little guy kick, strangers asking me when I'm due, it's summer and warm out side and just plan enjoying being pregnant and couldn't believe that I only had 6 or 7 weeks to go (as they wanted to take him at 36 weeks) I'm 30 weeks today.

I did NOT expect to find myself admitted to the hospital. crapola!!

A few good notes this time around:

1. I know all the things to ask for to try to get more comfortable. As I won't be L&D in this bed (as I have to have a csection either way) it doesn't seem to make sense for me be on the HARD labor and delivery bed that are meant for moms to bear down on and delivery their babes. I knew there were other options this time around. So they just brought me in a post-labor bed which is much more cushy.

2. I asked to take a sleeping pill! I've already been sleeping so horrible anyways.

3. I knew the food menu items to order without looking at the menu....Wow you'd think things would change after almost 3 years on their menu. I asked if there were any strikes planned. as last time all the service workers were on strike and it was very hard to get food as they were out of everything and screaming and striking every morning at 5am that sucked! No strikes planned this time thankfully.

4. I asked if their was dial up access and think I have some access on my computer (Yeah) at this point, not sure if I can get my email to work.

5. I asked for the take-out menus that they have for local restaurants (I didn't know about these until a day or 2 before I delivered)

6. The IV they put in my arm was killing me. I've had enough IV's to know that it really shouldn't hurt as bad as it was, so I asked if they could redo it. I think they felt I was just complaining about it, but the nice nurse I have said she figured if I wanted to get restuck again (which is the worst part of an IV) that this other one must really hurt. And it's soooo much better having it redone.

7. They wanted to put the huge belly band on my tummy, but that caused a horrible heat rash last time around and I wanted no part of that, so we are with a small monitor to monitor contractions. I'm thankfully not required to have 24hr monitoring of heart-rate, as that's an impossible task and you never get any sleep (from my memories last time).

I just had my first dose of steroid shot (I forgot how much that med hurts going on, OUCH).

Kaitlyn and dad came to visit, she didn't seem too freaked out (good thing obviously) not sure what to try to tell her about the whole thing so she continues to stay not freaked out, but I"m sure she won't understand why I'm not coming home with her and dad.

Dad will call in sick for his next shift on Friday, our nanny will be there to help as much as we need her she's told us (WE are SOOOOO grateful to have Julia in our lives). I think I wouldn't be as calm as I am now if it weren't for Julia and love for Kaitlyn (and us) and that she can be so flexible.... After that we'll play it by ear. If this is long-term in the hosp, Brian does have to work and try to work over time shifts as we are so in the red every month if he doesn't work over time.

I will get another steroid shot tomorrow. These shots will help baby boy's lungs SHOULD he need to be delivered in 48 hours (the shots take 48hrs to go into effect). They results of the shots last approx 2-3 weeks I think, and after that I'll be further along that His lungs won't need as much help.....

SO basically from what I understand here's my outcome:

1. I'll be monitored for contractions 24/7. I've had a few minor ones that I didn't even know about (no on seems worried about these at all, I think they are typical). If that changes, it's another story.
2. My blood loss with be monitored. I continue to have small bits (dried) leak out of me. While I was in the doc office getting my scan he saw a pool of blood. He said this pool will need to leave, but if the bleeding becomes excessive and bight red that I may never be leaving. But if the blood is the same and hopefully stops once this pool leaks its way out than I may most likely be released for bedrest/limited activity (not sure which) at home.....

So, that's it for now.

I can't believe I'm here. It's soooo surreal! Many people know me from last time around. The nurse tonight commented on what a BIG deal it was that I lasted 10 weeks without amnitoicfluid last time around - that just doesn't happen! It was surreal having Kaitlyn here at the hospital with me...Wow. So many emotions going through my brain.

I got to take a sleeping pill, so typing this a little bit groggy, but just figured out how to get on line somewhat....
Here I was going to post today how GREAT Kaitlyn has been eating as of late. This made me cry yesterday:

my nanny called to me from my office and said Liz you've got to come see. Julia was making a pizza bite for her - we've really been working on chewing....and told Kaitlyn she was going to have pizza...and lo and behold, K climbed up in her high=chair on her own (didn't know she could do that we watched her try to do it today and I have no idea how she did it on her own without falling), but she was up there, banging her hands saying" "" OMG. Only someone how understands how incredible this was can appreciate the fact that I started crying there on the spot. Maybe my daughter will someday eat regularly. That I'm not on a 10 year road feeding hell after all. I can attribute it to 2 things: getting her on periactin the last few weeks has stopped the pghlem. She is still vomiting, but it's with a gag (as she still has serious chewing issues, but they are improving now every meal as she's so motivated!) and the feeding program that Dr Patel put us on..... WOWEEEE! Well that was going to be my good news post

Sunday, June 15, 2008

Sad news to report

Sadly, my grandmother passed away yesterday on June 14, 2008. She had just turned 94 years old in May. On her birthday, my mother was visiting, so my mother, myself and Kaitlyn all got to talk briefly to my Grandmother on the phone. She wasn't doing very well at the time, and sadly went down-hill quickly not long after that.

I was at our local community pool when I got the call of her passing. I felt very sad and alone, as Brian is still away on his forest fire and I couldn't talk to anyone. I was reminded of the time when I was a little girl and learned to swim in my Grandmother's pool while visiting Florida. She was on very strong, proper lady.

It was her time, she lived a wonderful-long life, but it's still so "final" as my mother said. Even though we all knew it was time, it is still very sad. I keep getting teary-eyed.

In true fashion for my grandmother, she asked the hospice workers what was the best way to die "properly". Only my grandmother would be concerned about being proper even in death.

I miss you terribly Tommy (our nick-name for our Grandmother). You've left quite a legacy behind you. 3 children. My mother Corinne, her sister Nancy and brother Carl. All together Tommy had 6 grandchildren (I'm the eldest, Liz, Chris, Kathy, Gary, Christina and Jennifer) and 3 living great-grandchildren, 1 great-granddaughter deceased (Corinne) and 2 great-grandchildren on the way (baby boy McCarthy and Christina's baby due)

The good news, I just finally spoke to Brian. It looks like the fire is on it's way out, and he's doing fine! Phew!!! I feel so relieved. He'll likely be home tomorrow or the next day.

Happy Father's Day to all the Father's out there.

Friday, June 13, 2008

Fire season is here!

Brian was called out yesterday to go on a "Strike Team" for a large (10% contained) forest fire in Northern California. He'll likely be gone for a week. He's there currently with 2,800 other fire-fighters.

It's in Butte county, California but it's being called the "Humboldt Fire" for whatever reason.

Click here for info on the fire he is helping fight:

And info from 2 local papers there:

As of 6/13: Strong winds are making it very difficult to get crews ahead of the fire. The fire continues to spot in multiple directions.

Here's a fireman's poem:

Oh Lord, please help this firefighter To be skillful and brave. Please let me never falter When there are lives to save. Be with my fellow firefighters And ride with us each run; From the moment we "suit up" Until the job is done. Be with me as I guide a child Through the dark and smoky haze; Give me strength and courage As I fight the deadly blaze. Lord, I put my safety in your hands; But in the chaos and the strife, Help me act with selfless courage. God, just help me save a life. - Author unknown

Please pray for Brian to come home safe as well as my Grandmother who is gravely ill.

Marin Multiples (MPOMC) Garage Sale

I think I've mentioned in the past that I am still actively involved with my local Multiples (Twins) club MPOMC where I live in Marin County.

Every year the club puts on a "garage sale" that is hard to describe! Members tag all of their items that they want to sell, there is strict quality control, and then members put on the sale. The night before the sale starts, all the members get a pre-shopping time. These pictures were taken right before any shopping was done. If you missed it this year, be sure to come next year! Lots of great bargains to be had.

A percentage of the sellers proceeds go back to the club to help in community outreach as well as club events. After the public sale ends on Saturday, families are chosen to come and shop for "free" and then all remainder items are donated back to the community. It's a wonderful thing to see.

The MPOMC Garage sale committee did an amazing, amazing job to put this sale on. I always feel so welcomed in the club and so many know my story. Everyone is so happy to see me pregnant and I feel like I get so much support from those who understand, as they would never say, "well, at least you have one baby!".

Thank you MPOMC members for your continued support of my family which started back in July 2005 when my water broke from amnio. Members brought me meals in bed, came by to give me company and have continued to support me ever since.

My Grandmother is gravely ill

Hello, Just a message to all of my blog readers out there.

My grandmother, who is 94 years old, is gravely ill.

She lives in Florida and isn't likely to be here with us much longer.

Just a note to let the heavens know that I'm thinking of you Grandma Tommie and love and miss you very, very much. So does your great grand-daughter, Kaitlyn.

My grandmother is blind from Macular Degeneration and has never been able to meet Kaitlyn. Soon she may be able to meet her daughter's name-sake, Corinne, of course Kaitlyn's twin sister in heaven.

29 weeks and counting!

On Wednesday I turned 29 weeks and had yet another detailed ultrasound (hey, there's a bonus of having pregnancy complications, right?).

Placentia Previa (PP) is still definitely in place, and not likely to go away as it's so complete. We've started talking about when they want me to go in for a csection (they want 36w, I'm asking to go for 37w, as I'd like to have NO NICU time (as I'm sure you can all understand why), but my doc spoke to me about a woman who couldn't make it to the hospital in time when she started bleeding (from PP) and the baby died (near term). So big decision for us.

Still no bleeding or spotting and I feel great- yeah!

The best news is that Baby Boy McCarthy is now: hold on to your seats: 2 lbs and 11 ounces!!!! That means he weighs exactly 1 pound more than Corinne did at birth and 1 pound 1 ounce more than Kaitlyn did at birth! It made me feel really excited - that I'm going to have a baby to take home with me that isn't a micro preemie! I can't tell you the elation I felt at knowing how much he weighed!
Brian left yesterday for a week "strike team" which means he's out being a hero fighting the california forest fires that have already started. Please pray for him to stay out of harms way. He's located at the extremely large Humboldt County Fire in Northern California. I'll post more as I hear from him.

Finally some pictures for you to enjoy:

Belly picture at 29 w

Kaitlyn and Mom last week (everyone tells me I look "glowing"..I dont know it's just me!)

And a 4D ultrasound movie clip of Baby Boy McCarthy: