10 Years!

October 4, 2015 marks the 10 year anniversary of the day that will never be a joyful celebration for me.

Just a short post (from my facebook post) now, but I will write a 10 year recap.  Here are the 2 posts I made one, in honor of my amazing daughter Kaitlyn and the other in honor of my lost angel Corinne:

To my precious Daughter Kaitlyn:
To my most amazing, wonderful joyful Daughter! Happy 10 years old today my special girl!!! I love you with all of my heart! You are so amazing and joyful and we can all learn something from the way you view life, full of joy, excitement and happiness! I heard one of your girlfriends say at your slumber party, "I've never seen Kaitlyn cry, ever. She is always so happy and excited over everything!" That brought tears to my eyes. Look how far she's come! She even scored ...a goal at her soccer game yesterday! Between the 5K Color Run with her mom, which didn't slow her down at all for her soccer game where she is the center forward and then a slumber party, it was quite a pre birthday day!! Pancakes this morning, then 2 more soccer games today (Quinn too) and then the neighbors over to celebrate Kaitlyn again! I love you my dearest Kaitlyn, I am one lucky Mama, you have taught me a lot!




To my precious Angel daughter Corinne:

Today 10 years ago...at 7 am my twin daughters were born waaay to soon and my life changed forever. Corinne Margaret and Kaitlyn Elizabeth were born at 26 weeks, 3 months early, each weighing 1 pound 10 ounces.each... a few hours after delivery the doctors came to tell me that they just couldn't get Corinne to saturate enough oxygen. her lungs were too damaged from going without amniotic fluid for 10 weeks since my water broke. They disconnected her and handed her to me. ... She passed away in our arms.

October 4th as much as of course it's my joyous happy daughter Kaitlyns birthday it was not a joyous day for me and I always struggle a lot with my emotions. It's this day that I truly really think more about how things would be so different having my two daughters here, how kaitlyn wouldn't have been affected by being born so early...
after Corinne passed away in my arms I wasn't able to do anything but hold my hands over Kaitlyn for 6 weeks. I longed to hold my other twin but her health was very touch and go. We almost lost her as well many times.
This at 10 years seems like such a milestone year as well.
I love you and miss you terribly Angel Corinne.