Thursday, June 23, 2011

Preemie Mother's Oath

It seems like I could have written this...
The following words truely state exactly how I feel in so many ways...This was very meaningful for me!

I have sat in the NICU and waited.
I have cried and prayed.
I have endured.

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams.
I will notice everything about my child.
I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover.
I will marvel at my surviving miracle every day for the rest of my life.

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold and feed him and that I am not waking to a nurse taking another temperature, an alarm going off, another round of meds or because I am crying tears for fear of the unknown.
I will be happy because my baby is alive and crying out for me.

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see.

Whether I parent a preemie with physical challleges or medical issues, I will not be careless with my love.

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, friend and sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body.
I have been tried by fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall.

I have prevailed.
I have succeeded.
I have won.

So now, when others hurt around me, I do not run from their pain in order to save myself discomfort. I see it, mourn it, and join them in theirs.

I listen.

And even though I cannot make it better, I can make it less lonely. I have learned the immense power of another hand holding tight to mine, of other eyes that moisten as they learn to accept the harsh truth and when life is beyond hard. I have learned a compassion that only comes with walking in those shoes.

I have learned to appreciate life.

Yes I will be a wonderful mother.

Author Unknown


Emily said...

I found your blog by googling info about preemies. My twins were born 2 weeks ago, at 27 weeks and 2 days. It's nice to see other people who have gone through a similar experience and have beautiful children.

Erin said...

I also found your blog by Googling. I am going through the nicu experience now. My baby was born at 29 weeks on Easter Sunday and is still in nicu. This oath brought me to tears because it states exactly how I feel and haven't been able to express to others. Thank you so much for sharing this as well as your story. It is so inspiring!!

Andi said...

Thank u 4 sharing. My daughter was born 8/19/11 @ 25.5wks weighing 1lb 6ozs. She is doing well however the fear of what 2morrow can bring still terrifies me. Its such a lonely feeling. I'm lucky 2 live right by the hospital so I see her everyday. I stay positive through it all & her presence is what keeps me going. I have so much respect 4 my babygirl. Her resilliance lets me know anything is possible.