As Kaitlyn's and Corinne's birthday nears (10/4/05) my thoughts are so jumbled...
10/4 was such a bittersweet day...I WAS TERRIFIED to be wheeled into surgery, I kept saying it's too soon, it's too soon, I even vomited (wow, maybe that's why Kaitlyn vomits all the time) on the way to the delivery room - I was so scared)
It is my daughters' birthday, and the day that Corinne died in my arms. I can't believe it's been almost a year.
We are going to be celebrating Kaitlyn on 10/1 with many, many friends who have been waiting a year to finally meet her.
I wanted to post this email from a good friend of mine from High School (a mother of twins) that she sent me on my birthday - it was very touching....and says all that I feel......Thank you Sue!
"Today is your birthday!!! Happy Happy Birthday Girlfriend! I hope you are trying to celebrate!!! You deserve it.
I just got caught up on your blog! I have been so busy, I had lost touch for a little while. Now that I have had a chance to dry my tears...I wish we could all go back with you to just before you had the amnio...I wish I could bring your angel to you...I wish we all could have known what would be in store so that we could have made different decisions...(more tears)...I cry for you. I cry for Corrine, your sweet little baby. I cry for Kaitlyn. I cry for Brian. And I cry for the rest of your family. Sometimes, I just cry, because I can't imagine your pain and frustration! I can never feel what you feel, but I do feel what a mother feels...and I can't imagine how difficult your situation is from all angles."