As Kaitlyn's and Corinne's birthday nears (10/4/05) my thoughts are so jumbled...
10/4 was such a bittersweet day...I WAS TERRIFIED to be wheeled into surgery, I kept saying it's too soon, it's too soon, I even vomited (wow, maybe that's why Kaitlyn vomits all the time) on the way to the delivery room - I was so scared)
It is my daughters' birthday, and the day that Corinne died in my arms. I can't believe it's been almost a year.
We are going to be celebrating Kaitlyn on 10/1 with many, many friends who have been waiting a year to finally meet her.
I wanted to post this email from a good friend of mine from High School (a mother of twins) that she sent me on my birthday - it was very touching....and says all that I feel......Thank you Sue!
"Today is your birthday!!! Happy Happy Birthday Girlfriend! I hope you are trying to celebrate!!! You deserve it.
I just got caught up on your blog! I have been so busy, I had lost touch for a little while. Now that I have had a chance to dry my tears...I wish we could all go back with you to just before you had the amnio...I wish I could bring your angel to you...I wish we all could have known what would be in store so that we could have made different decisions...(more tears)...I cry for you. I cry for Corrine, your sweet little baby. I cry for Kaitlyn. I cry for Brian. And I cry for the rest of your family. Sometimes, I just cry, because I can't imagine your pain and frustration! I can never feel what you feel, but I do feel what a mother feels...and I can't imagine how difficult your situation is from all angles."
5 comments:
It's hard to believe its been almost a year. Just think, soon it will be Kindergarten, Elementary, junior high... :-)
Liz,
This email from your friend is very touching and made me cry. I know people mean well, but sometimes I get tired of all the comments that are supposed to make me feel better, like "it happened for a reason," or "look on the bright side," or "it could be worse." What really makes me feel better is to have people say "I'm sad for you and I wish you didn't have to go through this."
And I am sad for you Liz. I am sad for all of us preemie moms who have lost babies, and have children with disabilities, and have to worry so much, and try so hard all the time.
It's so unfair and it really sucks.
I know these feelings will never completely go away, but I hope with all my heart that you, and all of us, can get to a place where the grief and worry is a little less, where it doesn't hurt as much, and things are a little bit easier, and a little bit brighter.
Your family is often in my thoughts.
Billie
Liz, you are amazing mom. I am sure Oct 4th will be an emotional day. I'll be thinking about you and I am sure Corrine will be looking down on you.
So nice to catch up on your life and adventures. I keep forgetting to tell you that I share a b-day with Kaitlyn. I will be thinking of you and your girls that day!
Liz,
When I wrote this e-mail, it was from my heart. It warms me to know that it meant so much to you that you would share my words.
Love,
Sue
Post a Comment