22 Weeks Doctor Visit

Wednesday 8/31/05
22 Weeks 5 weeks, 1 day on complete bedrest since PROM

Wednesdays are always a big day, as it means I've made it another week, and one week closer to possibly having a positive outcome for at least one of our baby girls. Today is also our first Doctor visit since we've returned from Florida. AND it means that I get to actually get dressed and get out of the house for a change! What a treat. I felt more "mentally prepared" for this doctor visit than in the past, as I wasn't expecting any news of fluid re-accumulating because the leaking hadn't slowed down, so I wasn't going to be as disappointed by the sight of no fluid. We drove into San Francisco for this visit, as we were going to meet the Perinatologist that we've been speaking to on the phone. Once we got the hospital, Brian got me a wheel chair once again.At the ultrasound, we were pleased to see that both babies were growing on schedule for the Gestational Age (GA). Which means their growth was what it should be for 22 weeks for twins. Strangely enough the PROM baby was slightly more than 1 pound and the non PROM baby was slightly under 1 pound.

Hard to believe that they actually weigh a pound each. I’ve gained a bit over 15 pounds so far and that’s really hard to believe.

The printed ultrasound pictures we got this time weren’t very impressive. It’s so hard to see PROM baby’s picture without amniotic fluid.

Then the doctor came in. He again was so negative - it just drives me crazy. He listed all of our grim outcomes, that the chance of having healthy babies was slim and so on and so on. I know all of the outcomes. I’ve heard them many times already.

I finally told him that in that we had made the decision to ride out the pregnancy, cross our fingers that I don’t get an infection, that if he was going to be our doctor throughout this that we wanted his support as I needed to hear positive developments not just the negative.

I think he was sort of taken aback that I said that…oh well, I said what I felt and felt better for it.

Driving home, I was in a downer mood, Brian asked why, as the ultrasound showed the PROM baby growing, I said that I was again doubting our decision to continue, I was so scared of long term birth defects. It was a beautiful day in the city, and as we drove over the Golden Gate Bridge I started to cry. I was looking out at the ocean, and basically life going on all around me and I knew we were heading back home, to my bedroom and to being cut off from everything. This was NOT how I expected my pregnancy to be.

When we got home, my mother and brother had sent a beautiful bouquet of flowers that my mother said she was going to send every Wednesday, as it meant we had hit another week.