Sunday, December 14, 2008

What's a normal baby anyway?

OK, i'm a horrible mom.

I've just thought that babies are a bit difficult to feed and fussy and etc. etc....But after now paying "attention" I realize that Quinn has reflux.
I feel horrible that I've let it go for so long. I didn't know! I don't know how to feed a baby. Remember that Kaitlyn was 100% tube fed.

I'm stressed, I'm tired. We've just tried 2 weeks on Zantac, with a bit of improvement, but short-lived relief and now I'm stressed out from my upset little guy. We need to get him on a PPI (like prevacid that Kaitlyn used to be on). It's not like he cries all the time, it's not like he refuses the bottle (signs that I would have looked for).

But here's what Quinn's been doing:

  • Snacks all day long, as opposed to taking a larger volume at once (he’s learned that if he eats a lot it hurts)
  • He is VERY gassy and Is very difficult to burp which has even gotten harder in the last few weeks (he’s now 4 months, which is when reflux can get worse)
  • Is crying a lot, especially when needing to burp (which is often as it’s so hard to get him to burp and he snacks)
  • Cries after burp for about 20-40 seconds then quiets down I think he’s learned that burping hurts him (refluxing)
  • Is not stretching out how long he sleeps at night (as he’s not eating large quantities at a time) and he’s hungry
  • he arches and gets very stiff while eating, which is when he’s really upset
  • At night he can go 1-2 hours straight where he doesn’t go back to sleep as he’s fussing/upset/needs to burp, wont' eat, wants to eat, (and I’m exhausted)
  • He spits up a lot

I think with what's going on with Quinn and dealing with Kaitlyn - I'm not able to get much done in my life. I finally just sent out Quinn thank you cards, and now need to tackle Kaitlyn's thank-you cards from her birthday party (from October) - Christmas Cards???? I always send them out...I want too, we'll see if I get to it. My house is a wreck. I never have time to eat or even drink a glass of water.

When the kids are finally asleep (around 9ish - I seem to have 2 hours or so of peace and quiet, and maybe finally eat something, before I pump and deal with all the night-time readiness before Quinn eats again at midnight (he has a major internal clock and seems to wake up to the minute of 3 hours). its hard to do any of the things that I really need to do at that time, I'm just so exhausted, mentally and phsyciall that all I want to do is veg in front of the tv and watch my tivo'd programs.

Can I tell you how tired I am of breast pumping? Ugggh. I did it for 8 months last time around. I'm going on 5 months now and have about had it. Before I stop this time though I have to do a trial of formula with Quinn to see if he can tolerate it. I don't want to have happen what happened last time, knowing that I had a freezer full of milk and not worrying. I didn't know that she wouldn't' be able to tolerate formula at all and I had to get donated breast milk after my extensive freezer stash ran out.

(It's 10pm now, I'm pumping and blogging, trying to go to sleep an hour earlier due to the K's new schedule for tomorrow):

Kaitlyn's first day on the short bus is tomorrow. I'm sad. We delayed a week due to her being sick.

Last week we went to check it out, and I really am having some major anxiety over this. Am I making the right decision? I so love her school that she's in. The kids in her new school have some very clear disability. Will she be able to get role models? hard to know as she now doesn't interact with the kids in her school anywyas and the teachers just let her be by herself (a star student really but not social at all).

It's going to be EARLY and very tough in the mornings. Normally Kaitlyn wakes up at 8:30ish and now the bus will be picking her up at 8:30! Sheesh. With needing an hour before we feed her after giving her periactin, my having to pump for 35+ minutes in the morning and dealing with a fussy/refluxy baby. I'm not looking forward to my alarm going off. (I'm still up every 2-3 hours at night with Quinn too!)

Oh, and a side-note from this weekend, Brian's fire house had a Christmas celebration for the kids of the fireman, We went to SF and got to see Santa arrive on a giant San Francisco Fire Truck. Kaitlyn loved it!


Mir said...

Liz, have you considered a milk intolerance as well? I have had two kids with milk intolerance now and the symptoms are very similar to reflux with the exception of the spitting up - you could, like clockwork, expect my youngest to spit up a LOT after any feeding with milk, and then spit up continuously until the next feeding. It was a lot more than my friend's son who has reflux.

Anyhow, I'm in month 10 of nursing with no milk intake (I so miss it!) and Cate's been doing great. We didn't have to put her on anything, but with my oldest, she was on Prevacid and soy formula, as she just couldn't adjust to my bfing. And if it is milk, you could adjust your diet and hopefully see some non-behavioral changes in the next 24-48 hours (he'll probably still be upset about burping, but have less spitting up and gas).

On the other hand, I hope for your sake it IS reflux, for the sole reason that you have SO much milk stored. If it is a milk intolerance, you wouldn't be able to easily use it. :-(


Anonymous said...

I'm sitting here at 8:45 New Orleans time thinking about how you all are doing this morning. My thoughts are with you!

Alexandra said...

Hi Liz,

My son had the painful reflux variety as well. It took him forever to eat the smallest amount (time I did not have as a new mom of twins), and he writhed, arched and screamed the entire time he ate. He was loosing weight and we had to put him on Prevacid after a worthless Zantac trial. I was nervous about giving him the Prevacid for some reason and waited for a while. I wish I had given it to him the moment it was prescribed. Prevacid was a miracle for him. He was finally able to eat without pain. Before Prevacid, I played the revolving formula game (Good Start, Alimentum, soy...), there was never any appreciable difference in his tolerance. He did seem to tolerate breast milk better (only marginally), but I simply did not have enough. Anyway, once my son was almost 2 (and off the Prevacid), I took him to a homeopath who prescribed a remedy of Borax. It seemed to knock out the residual reflux, stopped his eczema and seemed to make him a calmer child. I am not sure whether it is too early to see a homeopath for Quinn. I saw Richard Pitt in San Francisco. I think he is still on sabbatical, but I am sure there are some good homeopaths in Marin.

I read your blog often (it is always open on my browser). I wish the best for you and your family on this very difficult road of being a parent. As for the Christmas cards, my sister did e cards this year. A lot less work and you still get to send your holiday wishes and photos.

Best wishes,

Anna said...

Hi Liz.

I'm with one of your other readers on this. I would consider intolerance to foods you eat before giving him reflux medication. Julia had problems when I ate not just milk but ANY dairy products. Luckily, she was ok if I ate soy, so I could eat tofu and soy milk for calcium (and fortified OJ too). Some children have problems if their moms eat too much of 'gassy' foods, like beans or any type of cabbage. They say that drinking fennel tea (buy seeds at whole foods and steep in hot water) is good for gassy babies, but I coudn't see a difference. But dairy and sometimes soy products are usually the first suspect. To find out, I just eliminated almost everything from my diet except meat, potatoes, rice and lettuce, for about 14 days, and then I started reintroducing one food at a time in the 'suspect' list.

Shonda Little said...

I can tell you there is no "normal" baby in the terms of what to expect with a newborn. I do know that, eventually, this will come to pass. My good friend who had a preemie seems to think that they have a harder time with digestion at first, but I don't know if there is any truth to that.
I know that with my 2 sons I felt overwhelmed for the first 8 or 12 weeks, but I eventually figured it out. I realize this might be the worst advice or thoughts ever, but that's all I have. It will get easier.

Nancy Brown said...

Ok so another blogger left a comment on their blog about short buses and I wanted to come and let you know that its ok. the short bus comes and they LOVE It. ty rides a LARGE short bus if you will. He now runs as he gets on it.

Its one of those things only moms with special kids can joke about bu know that I understand the anxiety!!

I am here for you and was LIVID on the comment on the other blog... holler at me some time!!

Tyler and Nancy