Monday, January 23, 2006

2 precious emails from my fellow PROM moms

Some PROM thoughts today:

Just as a reminder PROM stands for Pre-mature Rupture of Membranes. That's what happened to Corinne's amniotic sac (my water broke) when I had an amnio at 17 weeks.

I just read 2 emails from my fellow PROM moms (I am a member of an on-line support mailing list for PROM moms) that I found really touching. Here is a link to that support group: I hope that they don't mind my posting the comments here:

The first is from a mom whose child survived a very early prom (13 weeks) to another PROM mom giving her support for her trying bed-rest time (All the Doctors ever tell PROM moms is doom-and-gloom, and here is a child that is now going on 3!):

"You do so much everyday when you lay down one more minute, when you drink one more swallow of water, when you ask someone to bring you something so you don't have to get up. I have been a part of this list since 2002 and in all that time, win, lose or draw; I have never heard of a single mom regretting a moment spent on bed rest or the effort each put forth.

We all worry, we all pray, we all cry. We whine and we fuss and we keep trying. It's all we can do. Just know that miracles do happen, the fact is God chooses us for a reason. I don't know why, but these lives that we struggle so to carry, rejoice so when we bring them home and grieve so hard for when we lose, God entrusts to a few special moms. It is a heavy load to carry whatever the outcome, but He watches over us and trusts us to do what we can. Have faith that every effort you make is worth it. We are all here for you. If you ever want to talk, you can email me and I will give you a call. In the meantime, my prayers and thoughts are with you."

Here is another touching comment from a PROM Grandmother whos beautiful grandaughter survived the PROM but then was lost to a bad infection a week later. Grandmothers just aren't thought of often when one looses a child.

We are so lucky to have 3 Grandmothers! We named our beautiful daughter Corinne Margaretafter my mother, Corinne, and Margaret, Brian's mother. We wanted her to have the strongest names possible so that she would be able to survive. Sadly, her lungs just weren't strong enough. Here's to our daughters' Grandmothers:

"Being the grandma in a situation like this entails more than most people realize. Not only do I grieve the death of my grandchildren, I also feel such terrible pain for my own daughter. Watching your child hold her own baby as that child is dying, and not being able to do
anything to "fix it" is the most helpless feeling I have ever had in my entire life. It is horrible to watch your own child hurt so badly and not be able to help. So losing a grandchild is a double pain in many ways.

I wanted this to be like a Christmas I remember from when Chelle was a very little girl. She had a favorite baby doll that she loved dearly, and it had broken. She wanted us to fix it and make it better SO BADLY! It was beyond hope and couldn't be fixed, so we asked Santa to fix the baby. She laid it tenderly under the Christmas tree all wrapped in its blanket, and you should have seen her face the next morning when she saw that Santa had "fixed" her baby good as new. I was so happy that day.

That image was in my mind that morning as I sat by watching Ellora die. I wanted to step in and DO something, anything, to "fix" Ellora and make her well, and take Chelle's tears away. But, of course, I couldn't... A parent is supposed to be able to help, and not let their child hurt...." Kathy

Here is a link to Kathy's blog:

The women of the PROM list have been so supportive through all that I've been through. I believe that if I would have listened to the doom-and-gloom of the doctors I wouldn't have my beautiful daughter with me today. I have to thank the PROM women for lending me their support in a terrible situation; just knowing that they had been through the same thing and that I was doing everything I could for my daughters helped me stay in bed day after day. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish Corinne had beaten the statistics, but I do know she hung in long enough so that her sister would have a chance and I know she is looking down on her sister and protecting her to make sure she comes home to us.

Well, on that note, I'm off to visit my beautiful one at the hospital....


julie deruvo said...

Hi Liz,
What beautiful messages! Thank you for sharing, it makes us all appreciate the special moments with our children! :)

I can't believe how much Kaitlyn is growing & changing! With each pound she gains she just looks more & more like a big girl!

The picture of your milk, is truly unbelievable! You are amazing-- sooo committed to keeping your baby girl healthy & strong. You are the best!

I will email you a little later about getting together. The girls have been soo sick the past week with bronchitis again! Elizabeth got hit REALLY hard with a fever of almost 105*, it was so scary, but I am happy to report that she is finally back to normal today!

Sending you & Kaitlyn hugs and good wishes!

liz.mccarthy said...

Here's an email I received today from another local twin mom - Brandi, Wow! What a nice note.

I have been following your blog since the beginning. I check in daily to see what's new. I have cried, grieved, laughed, and smiled with you from the beginning. Even though I didn't have a situation like yours, it helped me realize what is really important in our lives. You are such an amazing woman and someone I really look up to.

Anonymous said...

I have to admit, you seem to have a very well put together blog here!

Disposable Camera