Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Water Under the Bridge

Taxes, Work, Therapy Appointments, Doctor Appointments, Dentist (for mom) cleaning up vomit… Everything gets in the way of my blogging!

So sorry for the long delay, my taxes are in, my monthly work newsletter is finished, I have 2 new escrows at work, and I’ve hired a full-time nanny.

It’s strange how you can have a horrible, horrible week, and then things look up.

Last week recap:

I had been to the dentist earlier in the week (Tuesday) and while getting shot with Novocain the dentist hit a nerve in my tongue. It hurt like crazy (like an electric shot) when it happened. I didn’t think too much of it until the next morning when my tongue was still numb! Yes, the next day. I searched online, and discovered that this can happen when you hit the nerve in your tongue. I called the dentist and said, oops it happens, I asked if it could be permanent? He said he’d never had it happen permanent, but it was a small possibility! It’s now 1 complete week later and it’s still horribly tingly. I keep biting it all the time. I really don’t want to eat anything. It feels like your tongue is burnt by hot coffee. (My father in law, who is a dentist, said it’s good that it’s tingly and not numb any more, as that means it’s healing, but it could take months!) Talk about being depressed. It is horrible!

Brian was gone all week. One night last week I “fed the bed”. Kaitlyn’s gutbe has 2 opening ports on it and one of them sprung open. I had used the pump to feed 13 ounces of formula into Kaitlyn and none of it went in her belly, instead it went all over her bed, the floor. It made a horrible mess.

Late last week (Friday) was the last straw. I worked very hard and spent a LOT of time with some clients and they ended purchasing a home out of my area. It was very disappointing, as I spent so much time with them (I don’t ever let my clients know what a sacrifice my time is, as that’s part of my job), but it was very frustrating when I found out that they had already decided to purchase a home out of the area and were still looking at homes with me. In fact they found out that they got the east bay house while they were in the car with me and didn’t even tell me then.

I tried a feeding session with Kaitlyn that evening, (what was I thinking) and had a complete break down. Kaitlyn refused to eat or drink anything, and instead had a huge vomit. I chased her around the house with a syringe full of her food, vomit all over me, my shoes, the floor, the food exploded all over when I was trying to push it in her tube (like it often does) and had a complete crying break down. Poor Kaitlyn looked up at me all scared as she couldn’t figure out what was happening to mom. That really broke my heart, but I couldn’t stop crying. I was feeling very sorry for myself.

Everyone tells me how strong I am. I guess they don’t see me on days like this.

This week things have been looking up, somewhat. I did get a moving violation yesterday in my car! Ugggh.

Well, water under the bridge, I do at last have 2 new clients in escrow this week. (Remember that I can help you with any real estate advice/questions/transactions ANYWHERE in the Country. I have a great network of Real Estate Brokers that I turn to.

I did end finding an absolutely wonderful nanny to help with Kaitlyn. She’s been with us now for almost a month. Remember when I said my instincts knew that my previous nurse was horrible? Just the opposite that I felt this time, I knew it was right the moment she walked in the door. It is such a relief knowing that Kaitlyn is in good hands. Our nanny just loves Kaitlyn, is so wonderful with her and is helping me with laundry and basic house tidying also. It’s so nice to come home and have the house all picked up! I feel so fortunate and lucky and after the night mares I had to put up with.

Kaitlyn got glasses! I think I mentioned in a previous post that her eyes are -4.0 in each eye. The doc didn’t feel she would wear glasses, but I pushed the issue. I’m sooo glad I did! The first day Kaitlyn wanted nothing to do with them, and so I didn’t try again for a few days (I was sort of dreading the process), but the 2nd time I put them on her she kept them on the entire day! Within a few hours she was taking more steps on her own, and seemed to be smiling more too! WOW oh wow!

I guess she really needed glasses and likes wearing them. Now when I take out her glasses I show them to her and she gets a big grin on her face! It’s so wonderful to see her smiling and interacting more. And her walking has really taken off. Every day now she is willing to venture off across the room on her own. It’s so wonderful to see.

Eating update: Some ups and downs. A few weeks ago I was able to hold a Gerber Star (they are like cheerios but dissolve even faster) to her mouth and she chewed off one little piece of the star. We are talking one tiny, itsy bitsy little piece. This causes gagging, wretching and vomit, but eventually, after about 6 bites she ended up eating the whole thing. After a few days of this we finally got one to stay down.

Last week Kaitlyn actually put a Gerber Star into her own mouth!! WOW, this was a cause for lots of clapping and cheering! Now, she tends to gag whenever anything is in her mouth. After lots of distracting, more cheering and clapping, she actually managed to swallow it. Then a few sips out of a juice box! (She’s very good at squeezing the box which makes the juice squirt out through the straw and gets all over her, me and everywhere else), but she will occasionally swallow a few sips too.

Wow, she’s a regular eater! (Well not really, but hey, we learn to celebrate the small things in life, right!) My daughter ate 2 stars and had a few sips of juice! Wowweeee!

OK, if you are a parent of a child who eats regularly, this has to sound so completely foreign to you. She took by mouth probably the equivalent of 3 calories and I’m jumping up an down.

The last few days haven’t gone as well. Her vomiting seems to have increased (no idea why). We were trying to increase the time that we push her feed and the volume, as I’m trying to get her off her night feeds. Maybe that’s increasing the amount her little tummy can handle.

This morning I almost had a major catastrophe. I got her up, disconnected her extension set (that’s the short tube that attaches to her Mic-key button in her belly). I changed her and brought her out to the kitchen. When I reached down to re-attach her tubing, I couldn’t find her button, I thought I kept seeing her belly button! But alas, no her mic-key had fallen out. It had only been about 15-20 minutes since I had last seen it in her.
I’ve changed her button many times in the past, and it’s not that big of a deal, but I’ve been told that if you wait too long the stoma the hole in her stomach (like an earring hole) can close up! I rushed around, found the extra gtube and tried and tried, but I couldn’t get it to go in. Kaitlyn started screaming. I was alone at home. I really was freaking out thinking oh now, we’ll have to have it surgically reinserted again, the anesthesia, hospital, oh now. I can’t get it in. She was really screaming now. I was really pushing, hard.

Finally it went in. Phew. Poor baby. Poor mommy. But we saved her from having to have surgery again.

The balloon inside her belly had sprung a leak. (for those not in the gtube know-how: There is a tiny silicon balloon that inflates/deflates with water that is inside her belly. That’s what keeps the g-tube in her belly. It’s filled with 4cc’s of water and it sprung a leak, so it’s just slipped right out. The button had fallen into her pj’s and I hadn’t even noticed it. If it had happened over night, not only would I have fed the bed with her food, but it would have definitely have closed up.

I think that’s about it. I’m working on walking videos, but I’m going to get pictures and videos up tonight! Yeah, finally!


Jenny said...

Aww i'm sorry about your tongue and your breakdown.

I borke down last night cuz i had too much schoolwork, and mom told me to clean the kitchen and all that, but those things are nowhere near as hard as what you have to deal with! man...i totally understand you having a breakdown!

That is so good about the glasses! see i told you she'd like 'em! yay for the smiling!

She is progressing well on her eating too! fabulous!! she's doing so great and you are such a great mom to her! (i know i say that a lot but its true!)

Shannon and Carey said...

So sorry about your rough week. I cannot imagine what you are going through. Honestly I cannot. I am glad things are looking up though. Yeah about the glasses, the walking and the Escrows! Yeah to it all! Love the skiing pics. You deserved that break!
Shannon :)

Laura said...

what a time you have had.
i get the frustration over the real estate as my husband is a realtor too and has this happen to him as well. it sucks. but congratulations on the two new escrows!
hang in there with all the feeding trials. i know these struggles too well. we had mic-key issues when daniel got to be around 19 mos and switched to a bard tube. 2 more surgeries yes, but no more trauma and drama with tubes being pulled out. still i am cheering with you over the progress with feeding. it might seem small to some but knowing this life i know this a is a major success. celebrate because you guys deserve it.
love her glasses and congrats on the success there too.
take care.