I feel in deja vu....

Where to start, well, should just get right into it...

I've been admitted to my L&D Hospital (CPMC in San Francisco for at least 4 days........

Backing up to yesterday, around noon I noticed (sorry if this is TMI for you) a dark brown swath on my panty-liner, clearly dried blood. Dried, very dark not a ton, but enough that came out and made a streak (as opposed to a spot). Call my Perinatologist...Said take it easy, it's dark old blood by your description of the color. I had it again in the evening. I tried to take it as easy as I could but I was on my own after 4pm with a 26lb toddler that still has to have diaper changes, feeding therapy, bath and put into crib (as easy as all that is).

Didn't sleep well (obvious reasons of being scared) and haven't slept well in general the last handful of nights with all that's been going on....Grandma gravely ill and then passing, Brian being out on a dangerous strike team, lack of money, you know that sort of stuff.

In the late morning, had another swath, so called my peri again, They wanted me to come in for a scan at 1pm...I CONTEMPLATED packing a few things, (namely my computer, toiletry bag, phone charger) but I thought no, this is such a small amt that he's going to just send me back home on restrictions and see what happens.

Upon getting the u/s, baby boy looks great. Cervix looks long, no noticeable contractions, then he wanted to do the wonder-wand vaginal internal exam and saw a pool of blood right behind my cervix, which means its' coming from my Placenta Previa (and this is what we have been fearful of). he was quite quiet for a bit and I knew he was determining what he wanted me to do, he finally spoke and said you are not going to like what I"m going to say, (my gut was saying that go home on strict bedrest), but no, he wanted to admit me ASAP. I asked if I could go home pack somethings, as I was currently wearing flip-flops, a floral skirt and a tshirt, my cell phone charge was almost out, and had nothing,....oh and my the way my husband was out of town in an area that had little to no cell reception, and my nanny at home with Kaitlyn speaks little english. So could I go home first? He asked where I lived in SF, I said I lived in North Marin, 25 min from the hospital basically (with no traffic), he said he really didn't advise I go there. He said the main risk of severe bleeding/abuption happening is 48 hours after the bleed started, (which was noon yesterday).

So with that, They found me a translator who spoke to my nanny and said she was fine to do whatever to help....(what a relief)...Left brian a message as to the news, and said once he got home to call me so I could tell him what to pack for me. My cell phone died not long after that (I got out a few text messages filling some folks in) And no way to charge it until Brian showed up.

So with that, I drive myself to CPMC. was feeling very calm in fact, thinking that this WASN'T it (but ha, I said that I wasn't going to deliver the night that I did too) but I'm still trying the positive thinking.

Just a few days ago I told Brian, laying on the couch after he got back from the fire that I was feeling so great, that this pregnancy thing was pretty damn cool, i loved my belly, feeling my little guy kick, strangers asking me when I'm due, it's summer and warm out side and just plan enjoying being pregnant and couldn't believe that I only had 6 or 7 weeks to go (as they wanted to take him at 36 weeks) I'm 30 weeks today.

I did NOT expect to find myself admitted to the hospital. crapola!!

A few good notes this time around:

1. I know all the things to ask for to try to get more comfortable. As I won't be L&D in this bed (as I have to have a csection either way) it doesn't seem to make sense for me be on the HARD labor and delivery bed that are meant for moms to bear down on and delivery their babes. I knew there were other options this time around. So they just brought me in a post-labor bed which is much more cushy.

2. I asked to take a sleeping pill! I've already been sleeping so horrible anyways.

3. I knew the food menu items to order without looking at the menu....Wow you'd think things would change after almost 3 years on their menu. I asked if there were any strikes planned. as last time all the service workers were on strike and it was very hard to get food as they were out of everything and screaming and striking every morning at 5am that sucked! No strikes planned this time thankfully.

4. I asked if their was dial up access and think I have some access on my computer (Yeah) at this point, not sure if I can get my email to work.

5. I asked for the take-out menus that they have for local restaurants (I didn't know about these until a day or 2 before I delivered)

6. The IV they put in my arm was killing me. I've had enough IV's to know that it really shouldn't hurt as bad as it was, so I asked if they could redo it. I think they felt I was just complaining about it, but the nice nurse I have said she figured if I wanted to get restuck again (which is the worst part of an IV) that this other one must really hurt. And it's soooo much better having it redone.

7. They wanted to put the huge belly band on my tummy, but that caused a horrible heat rash last time around and I wanted no part of that, so we are with a small monitor to monitor contractions. I'm thankfully not required to have 24hr monitoring of heart-rate, as that's an impossible task and you never get any sleep (from my memories last time).

I just had my first dose of steroid shot (I forgot how much that med hurts going on, OUCH).

Kaitlyn and dad came to visit, she didn't seem too freaked out (good thing obviously) not sure what to try to tell her about the whole thing so she continues to stay not freaked out, but I"m sure she won't understand why I'm not coming home with her and dad.

Dad will call in sick for his next shift on Friday, our nanny will be there to help as much as we need her she's told us (WE are SOOOOO grateful to have Julia in our lives). I think I wouldn't be as calm as I am now if it weren't for Julia and love for Kaitlyn (and us) and that she can be so flexible.... After that we'll play it by ear. If this is long-term in the hosp, Brian does have to work and try to work over time shifts as we are so in the red every month if he doesn't work over time.

I will get another steroid shot tomorrow. These shots will help baby boy's lungs SHOULD he need to be delivered in 48 hours (the shots take 48hrs to go into effect). They results of the shots last approx 2-3 weeks I think, and after that I'll be further along that His lungs won't need as much help.....

SO basically from what I understand here's my outcome:

1. I'll be monitored for contractions 24/7. I've had a few minor ones that I didn't even know about (no on seems worried about these at all, I think they are typical). If that changes, it's another story.
2. My blood loss with be monitored. I continue to have small bits (dried) leak out of me. While I was in the doc office getting my scan he saw a pool of blood. He said this pool will need to leave, but if the bleeding becomes excessive and bight red that I may never be leaving. But if the blood is the same and hopefully stops once this pool leaks its way out than I may most likely be released for bedrest/limited activity (not sure which) at home.....

So, that's it for now.

I can't believe I'm here. It's soooo surreal! Many people know me from last time around. The nurse tonight commented on what a BIG deal it was that I lasted 10 weeks without amnitoicfluid last time around - that just doesn't happen! It was surreal having Kaitlyn here at the hospital with me...Wow. So many emotions going through my brain.

I got to take a sleeping pill, so typing this a little bit groggy, but just figured out how to get on line somewhat....
Here I was going to post today how GREAT Kaitlyn has been eating as of late. This made me cry yesterday:

my nanny called to me from my office and said Liz you've got to come see. Julia was making a pizza bite for her - we've really been working on chewing....and told Kaitlyn she was going to have pizza...and lo and behold, K climbed up in her high=chair on her own (didn't know she could do that we watched her try to do it today and I have no idea how she did it on her own without falling), but she was up there, banging her hands saying" "pizza...pizza" OMG. Only someone how understands how incredible this was can appreciate the fact that I started crying there on the spot. Maybe my daughter will someday eat regularly. That I'm not on a 10 year road feeding hell after all. I can attribute it to 2 things: getting her on periactin the last few weeks has stopped the pghlem. She is still vomiting, but it's with a gag (as she still has serious chewing issues, but they are improving now every meal as she's so motivated!) and the feeding program that Dr Patel put us on..... WOWEEEE! Well that was going to be my good news post