Friday, January 16, 2009

My Heaven and Earth Twins

Kaitlyn with her twin doll packpack (picture taken over the summer)

Today Kaitlyn was playing with a set of twin dolls that my friend Lisa gave her (mom to 2 sets of twins).

Kaitlyn called the dolls Kaitlyn and Corinne.

It took my breath away.

A few times in the last few months I've mentioned to her that she has a sister. The other day I called her sister Angel Corinne, so she wouldn't get confused about her Grandma Corinne (my mom).

When I asked about her sister today, she remembered and told me that her sister was an angel. Today I told Kaitlyn that her sister was an angel in heaven watching over her. It was so hard not to to tear up as I watched my little girl absorb this information.

Some nights as I tuck my little darling in and I lay my hands on her head while I watch her sleep my heart aches with gratefulness that Kaitlyn is so amazing and so wonderful and so perfect while at the same time feeling the emptiness in my souls over missing Corinne. I guess that ache will always be there. Sometimes subtle, sometimes strong. But it's there.

Here's a poem I recently came across that really touched me:

The Cord

We are connected,
My child and I,
by an invisible cord
Not seen by the eye.

It's not like the cord
That connects us 'til birth
This cord can't been seen
By any on Earth.

This cord does it's work
Right from the start.

It binds us together
Attached to my heart.

I know that it's there
Though no one can see
The invisible cord
From my child to me.

The strength of this cord
Is hard to describe.

It can't be destroyed
It can't be denied.

It's stronger than any cord
Man could create
It withstands the test
Can hold any weight.

And though you are gone,
Though you're not here with me,
The cord is still there
But no one can see.

It pulls at my heart
I am bruised...I am sore,
But this cord is my lifeline
As never before.

I am thankful that God
Connects us this way
A mother and child
Death can't take it away!

-Author Unknown


The Microblogologist said...

That is so sweet, sometimes children can grasp these concepts so much easier than we adults can. You are such a good mommy to all three of your children.

skeybunny said...

So amazing! Kaitlyn--a 3-year-old--gets it in a way most adults can't understand.


Michele said...

Liz, I am in tears right now. I feel so bad for you...and I am going through the exact same thing! I keep thinking of when Kenny is going to finally understand that his twin is his guardian angel, in just breaks my heart. God bless you guys. Give your Kaitlyn a big hug from me. Hang in there, k?

Jodi said...

Thank you for sharing that. I've been struggling lately with the loss of my sweet Logan. Yet, I feel grateful for Olivia. I often wonder how Olivia will absorb the information about the loss of her twin brother as she gets older.

I also LOVED the videos of Kaitlyn. Just amazing!

L I S A said...

Liz - I'm still checking in when I can. Love K's backpack and marvel how much she's grown and how far she's come. You're doing an amazing job and I truly admire you!


The Snyder's said...

WOW.. Amazing story.. bless your baby girl and you.. God Bless.. And that poem is amazing..

Anonymous said...

Liz: I am crying as i am typing. three months after the loss of one of my identical twins, my heart still aches and the peom really touched me. I know that this sore created in my heart will be raw until I leave this world.
BTW, i wonder if you appreciate how much Kaitlyn resembles you and how Quinn resembles his dad. It is amazing, what a beautiful family. God bless you. Your honestly on thsi blog really touches me as I am going through parenting my surviving twin who suffers from BPD and severe reflux. your strength also helped me make it through the trauma of amnio induced PROM.

Erika said...

Liz, I am mom to surviving triplets, one of my identical boys died just a month after birth, his brother and sister survived. They were 26 weekers, now they are 6 years old. My kids have known about their brother from day one, and talk of him often, it is heartwarming and heartbreaking at the same time, as I am sure you understand.

I stumbled upon your blog, and have enjoyed reading it; what a great mother you must be for all of your children.

God bless you!