Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Thoughts for the day


Today I went running! Well, I attempted to go running, (I'm still weaning from the pump and wore 2 jog-bras).

I've only tried to run/walk 3 times since fall of 08. That's weird for me! Normally I exercise all the time!

This time it was without a jogging stroller, I was solo! It was so nice to be outside by myself!
My run was more like a run/walk. Man, I'm out of shape!

As I was running, I was thinking of how incredibly nice it was to have a break from taking Kaitlyn to all of her therapies. I don't think it really hit home until I was out on my own that I'm not having to cart her all over town 5 days a week any more!

In that she takes the bus to and from school every day now, it's freed up my time incredibly! Maybe now (in addition to work) I can arrange a little free time each day and start exercising regularly again. Since the twins were born, I really haven't exercised much at all, with Kaitlyn and all of her issues when she first came home, exercise just wasn't an option!

The weather here has been incredible (sorry east coasters, but on Monday it neared 80 degrees!) That's very rare for this time of the year, it was so nice to be outside and be warm!

What to do - The really big question??
(I'm sure I'll receive a rash of comments on this item)

Today in the mail I received our "bill" from UCSF for holding our 3 little embryos. I've been dreading getting the notice that it was time to renew the chryo freezing or to use/discard them.

We are done with having babies. It's not been an easy road to get our little ones. But it's going to be very very hard to let those embies go. We'll likely donate them to research (YES, I'm a big believer in stem cell research), in fact, where our embies are being held (at UCSF) just got a huge grant for doing stem cell research. That's REALLY weird to think about that they'd be researching with our little pre-children.

We've considered donation to another couple too., but I don't think either of us would be ok with that, knowing that there will siblings to K, Q (and Corinne) running around. I don't know. this is such a sensitive topic. Besides the fact that my eggs are "old mama" eggs, not sure if anyone would even want them! I really have to get my head around this one. I know this topic is often HIGHLY debated (due to religious opinions and I'm sure some of my readers will be upset that I'm OK with stem cell research, but that's how I feel).

My husband and I have to discuss in earnest if we would want to donate them. I just got the paperwork yesterday and we only have 30 days to decide!

Quinn Update:

Well, finally, I think the reflux is starting to improve! We've gone a number of days now with a fairly content little guy (until today that is). He cried a LOT today, not sure what was up today. But really, the crying, arching spitting up episodes were better (take today out of the picture) and I'd be really really excited .

After I had started writing the above (the little bugger must have known I was trying to do a blog post, as he started screaming and proceeded to do so for about 1.5 hours straight - at the top of his lungs!)

We have Quinn in a 2x/day dose of prevacid and 2x a day dose of zantac.

We'll see how the next few days go.


It feels really strange to purposefully be letting my supply drop off. When I hear of all the moms out there who only get a tiny bit of milk and here I am trying to make my supply go away, but at the same time, feel sad when every pump now I'm getting less and less (even though I'm doing it on purpose). Hard to explain the mixed emotions I feel over it. Strange. I used to get about 50 ounces/day now I'm down to about 20. Quinn has now started on my frozen stash. He's getting milk from august 3rd (just a few weeks after he was born).

Did I mention that I have 3,000 ounces saved? I approximately calculated and hope that should be enough to get him through close to a year at least. Feeling better that we are getting some results from the meds that I will be able to give him my milk!


Wow, she is making Brian and I smile all the time now! I've just taken some great videos of her talking up a storm! I can't wait to share them. I teared up a bit at dinner tonight watching her talk to Brian and I and both of us were looking at each other (Bri and I) just smiling and giggling at the funny things she was saying. It just made my heart sing. Soo, darn cute!

Also, she got a big girl bed yesterday! (a toddler bed). Her room (which will be Quinn's room too if he EVER starts sleeping) so we needed a small bed to share with the crib. She seems excited and I'm excited that so far she' snot getting out of her bed even to get blankets that she's dropped. This morning (her first full night in the bed) she was just sitting on her bed waiting for me to "get her out of bed". I loved that, and I'm certainly not about to let her know that she can get up on her own! I'm sure she'll figure that out on her own at some point! K is really a great sleeper and is such a good girl. As Quinn has his really seriously horrible moments, it's reinforcing the fact that Kaitlyn is just amazing.

The other day when Brian asked who her best friend was, she said: "mommy!" That warmed my heart! Oh, how I love my little darling daughter.

Oh and eating! wow, I still promise to do a post on the subject, but what I can say is that WOWWWWWW! She's really eating like a regular toddler. It happened so fast. Only just a few months ago we were having a really tough time, and now she likes to eat. She ate a whole 4 ounce ice cream tonight after eating a good dinner and eating it on her own!

I promise to do an eating post soon!

That's the updates from the McCarthys!


Jennifer said...

I just read your entry and read about not being comfortable with Quinn and Kaitlyn sibs out there. I just wanted to suggest you reconsider. To think about how hard it was for you to get these 2, there are other mamas with NO babies aching for one and this could be a way for you to help them. Just wanted to throw that out there because it's so hard these days for some women to just become pregnant and desire to hold a baby in their arms :)

Gala said...

Hi, after I had twins, we still had 3 frozen embrios left. We donated them with a condition to have an open adoption. We were given potiential parents profiles so we could decide if we want them. We indicated in our 'wish' to have an update on kids so often and to be able to meet when kids are so old. I was really looking forward for my twins to have possible siblings/friends. Unfortunatly women didn't carry pregnancy through...

Shannon and Carey said...

Great post Liz. Can't wait for the pics. And congrats to Kaitlyn on the big girl bed!
-Shannon in Austin

Anonymous said...

I work in the medical field...I must admit :) I can understand you being at odds at what you should do; I have also worked in fertility clinics with patients just like you. Whatever you decide you will question and either decision is noble. If you do decide to donate for research; which I think is a great thing to do...your embryos will go on to create/help life in the future as well. Good luck in your decison.

Jodi said...

I have to admit I am a little jealous at the 50 oz a day! Heck I would have taken the 30 oz. I could hardly get 20ml(yes that is ml's) with Emma.

We wish you luck in your decision. And remember not to worry about what other people say about the stem cell research. It is YOUR decision. You have to do what is best for you!

Great to hear that sweet little girl is talking!

Take Care

Kristina said...

I'm so glad your kids are doing so well and that you're getting some time for yourself :)

I understand your feelings about the embryos. I do suggest you do some research on embryonic stem cell stuff, though. Religious views aside, although other types of stem cell research have clearly shown they may have a useful future, embryonic stem cell research has not.

On the other hand, there are families out there who would LOVE to have your embryos. I know it would be weird to think your children have brothers or sisters out there in the world, but perhaps it would be an enriching thing. You could help fulfill a couple's dreams of having a baby...And, if they want to, maybe your kids could meet their half-siblings later...

I just learned about this national donation center a few days ago: