January 4th.....Due Date Anniversary

Today was supposed to be Kaitlyn and Corinne's Birthday 3 years ago.

Instead Kaitlyn is now 3 years and 3 months and her sister isn't by her side.

My girls' Anniversaries (due date, date of amnio, date of birth/Corinne's passing) are getting easier, but they are still hard. Some Anniversaries just fly by, with no fan-fare, but typically sometime during the day the realization that the date is "An Anniversary" typically hits me with a wave of emotion and a feeling of your stomach dropping, like you are on a roller coaster. When will this stop?

As much as this feeling used to be a sorrowful and tearful, these days I think of it more matter-of-factly, all these anniversaries that dictated the way my life would turn out forever. It sucks that these dates have to exist at all.

But I do look at some positive of how my life changed. (new friends, awareness of miracles, awareness of simple joys, helping others), but that's also the topic for another post

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Today as a family Brian, Quinn Kaitlyn and I went to Fairyland (a very old toddler park in Oakland built around Fairy Tales). We had so much fun. I took all kinds of videos, showing Kaitlyn talking up a storm. I'll try to post them soon! They brought such joy to my heart and I totally forgot that today was another Anniversary date.

We've had a nice family few weeks of Holiday Vacation. I think what I enjoyed the most was the fact that Kaitlyn was out of school and didn't have any therapies or doctor visits. Now that I think of it, this is the first 2 weeks she has ever gone without some sort of visit. Isn't that crazy? Brian took a few weeks off (he delayed his paternal leave) , as otherwise there would be no way for him to have holiday days off work.

I promise soon to post a really really great post on Kaitlyn. Her eating and talking are amazing, I mean really really amazing. Off the charts amazing in fact! (not the volume that she eats but her desire to eat!)

Today I have to post a more somber post, because I'm having a tough time.... I'm actually going to do it in a separate post as it has nothing to do with it being January 4th or Kaitlyn. It's Quinn....