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Wednesday, October 12, 2005

A long phone call with Sis

10/12/05

Well, after talking with Liz on the phone for a long time this evening, I have some more details about not having details....

First off, Liz wanted to thank everyone who has been sending positive thoughts and prayers and emails and flowers etc etc. She said the whole support network she's been so lucky to have is just incredible and she didn't have words to describe how much it means to her. She really wishes she could speak with everyone and tell them thanks personally. I usually read her the emails and messages that people have sent her, and she was completely in tears tonight when I did so. So, directly from her, thank you, your support is an incredible strength to her right now. Brian has been able to spend lots of time with Liz, due in large part to the huge help his fellow firefighters have been in covering shifts and whatnot for him. He doesn't know what he'd do without their help, it's been a huge thing for them both.

She and Brian are really grieving a lot, they said they had no idea it would be this hard losing Corinne. Still, I told her that the last thing Corinne heard was her parents telling her how much they loved her, and what a beautiful thing that must have been for her. Still, every time they go to the NICU, they wish they could see both girls there instead of just the one.

Between grieving, having trepidation about how small Kaitlyn is, Liz still being sick, etc, there is just a huge amount of emotions flowing through both of them. As a result, they're kind of hiding out at home and don't really check emails or even answer the phone most of the time. They know everyone wants to help, and they're extremely thankful, but she says it's just really hard for her to talk to people on the phone or in person just yet. And as I said, when I read her the emails and messages, it brings her to tears it means so much.

Kaitlyn is stable after the surgery, which is very encouraging. She has had some difficulties, her lungs are still partially deflated as a result of the surgery. They've given her two brain scans to check for bleeding of the brain. The first one did show something, but they couldn't tell exactly what it was. A second scan later still showed it, but it wasn't increasing in size, which is a very good thing. So there are still a myriad of issues they're dealing with on a daily basis, but the doctors remain encouraged overall.

Liz is still running a fever of just under 100, it seems to come and go but luckily nothing like how it was when she was in the hospital. They were very concerned originally about some rigidity in her abdomen, which is why they went to the CAT scan. They basically found out that it was fluid buildup. Since then, the wound has opened and the fluid has come out. While it makes for some messy bandages, we're hoping that it will soon begin to heal. She told me she slept for more than 15 hours today. Brian wakes her up every now and then to pump, but she's so exhausted she then goes straight back to sleep. She's thankful, though, that she's back at home. We were joking that, when she was pregnant all she wanted to do was sit up, see her house, and go outside in the sunshine, but the doctor wouldn't let her. Now, the doctors say she can do all of that, but she's so exhausted all she wants to do is lie down. It's pretty ironic.

And that's the news from the McCarthy household.

Gary

14 comments:

Lucy Churton said...

Liz & Brian - You're on our minds ALL the time and we love you!
Ken, Lucy, Ruby & Sancho

Julie DeRuvo said...

Oh boy! My heart is filled with love and admiration for all of you! It is so important that you go through the grieving process. You need that for your own strength and to be the best parents you can be to Kaitlyn. Just know that all of us are here praying for you and sending you our love and support.

God Bless,
Julie DeRuvo

Toni (aka Naked Lizard) said...

Just, wanted to send more hugs. I know that your hurting and have a lot on your mind. Just know that all 3 of you are in my prayers and I think of you daily. I know that you have an amazing Angel watching over you.
Just take all the time you need. Lossing a child is something NO ONE should ever have to face. Let a lone burry one. (((Hugs)))

Jodi D. said...

Gary, Thank you so much for keeping Liz and Brian's friends/family updated and in the loop. I'm greatful for it and they are so lucky to have such a supportive brother.

Hugs to all,
Jodi D. (from PROM)

Leanne and Andy said...

Liz and Brian,

We just found out about Corinne. We are grieving with you, but celebrating Kaitlyn's continuing successful fight. You will constantly be in our thoughts and prayers. Liz, you are so lucky to have found someone as wonderful as Brian, and ditto for you, Brian. I hope in the future your life won't be as hard as this rocky beginning.

Anonymous said...

Dear Liz and Brian,

I was sorry to hear the very sad news. We are all thinking of you. Kaitlyn will remain our prayers. Thank you Gary for the updates. You are a great brother.
Lynne and Bob Haberkern

Anonymous said...

Hi Liz & Brian,

WOW - you two are amazing...Please take the time to grieve, sleep, rest & heal on all levels. I know Kaitlyn is a fighter and will bloom with the love you have for her!

We have you in our thoughts & prayers!
Lane, Cory & Maggie Rose

Michelle Flannagan said...

Gary- thanks for the update, it's times like this that family is soo important, Liz is lucky to have you!

Liz-- Hang in there, and I hope you're up and about soon. You and Kaitlyn are in my prayers everyday. I'm so glad to hear she's doing ok.
Michelle from Sidelines

Ashley & Mark said...

Liz & B-

You are in our hearts and prayers all the time!!! Thank you to Gary for the updates- they are greatly appreciated. And Liz & Brian- take care of yourselves and take all the time you need. I can't imagine the mixed emotions your hearts/minds are dealing with daily. We are here for you always. Love you. Ash & M

Anonymous said...

I wanted to let you know you've been in my thoughts and prayers every day. Thank you, Gary, for all of the updates! Get your rest. I'm glad you've been able to get so much time off, Brian.

Thinking of you.
love,
Amber

Anonymous said...

Liz and Brian, You are such amazing people and amazing parents. You did everything right -- what other parents would have flown to Florida and had an "experimental" procedure. Your bed rest and diligency for the health of the babies is probably why Kaitlyn is doing as well as she is doing.
Whether Corrine was 3 hour, 3 days or 3 years old, you have still lost a child and I think it is against nature for a parent to lose a child. Gain strength from each other and know that Corrine is watching over Kaitlyn everyday -- and for that reason alone I know what Kaitlyn will thrive and grow up to be a strong, beautiful woman with a big heart.
We love you so much and can't wait to give you hugs in person but totally respect your need to be alone. We're here for you.
-- Whitney, Derek and Charlotte

Anonymous said...

Liz, you and Kaitlyn are in my thoughts and prayers. I hope both of you will be feeling better soon. I'm so sorry for your loss of Corrine. The loss of a child is one of the most horrible heartbreaks anyone can survive. All of us on the PROM group are thinking of you and will be here to support you.
Tracey (PROM) - South Bay

Julie DeRuvo said...

Thinking about you guys again today. Just wanted you to know.... Take care of yourselves!
God Bless,
Julie

Valerie (PROM) said...

Liz ~ Still thinking about you on the prom list. Don't forget that you are not alone in this difficult task of grieving and celebrating and recovering all at the same time. Lots of us are here to listen if you need anything. ~ Val from PROM