Octoberfest and Sad Buddy News

10/1/05

Well, it’s not really fest-like, but I can’t believe I made it to October. It’s me (Liz) writing again. When I started this ordeal summer had just started in July. Now it’s fall. Hopefully I’ll make it to the time when it’s cold and rainy, as that means winters here and I’ve proven all the doctors wrong.

Brian and I have some sad news……Buddy passed away a few days ago. Brian was so sad to call me at the hospital to give me the news. I think Brian really had taken to Buddy, (I only got to see Buddy when I went to and from the couch in the evenings when I was still at home.) It is very sad news indeed. One minute he was just fine, and then when Brian checked in on him an hour later, he had passed. He had a little funeral for him and buried him in our back yard. My little Buddy that I found when I turned 24 weeks.

But I’m sure you aren’t reading this to find out about Buddy…..
I am of course still at the hospital, and will definitely be here for the duration. With my mom here, all the commotion of docs/nurses/staff/and more stopping in; and the combination of the dial-up phone connection and the awkwardness of trying to figure out how I can prop up my laptop to type on the hospital bed has created a big delay in my being able to post here and check, let alone respond to email. I had so many emails that it took my laptop 3 hours to download them today!

I am completely overwhelmed by emotion by the outpouring of support from so many people from far and wide. Today when I checked to see how many people had “viewed” my blog, I saw it was just fewer than 900!!!! I think when I went into the hospital about 300 people had viewed it, and that was just a week ago. All of the posted comments and emails I’ve received from all of you has meant so much to me. The caring, thoughtfulness and prayers from so many people, friends, family, and complete strangers absolutely amazes me and certainly makes me want to bring my two little girls into this world more than anything. As much as I’d love to respond to each and every one of you, I may not be able to, and I hope you will understand. Please know that I still read everything you write.

I take every day now as a blessing that our little ones are still inside me. They kick and move so much I just know they are fighters. They move so much that the nurses continue to have a very tough time trying to get the heart beat monitors on them as the doctors have instructed them to do. When I first checked in they had to be monitored 24 hours day, which was impossible to do, which means mom never got any rest. After I spoke to the docs about that, they limited it to 30 minutes once every nurses shift (3 times every 24 hours). The night time monitoring (which came about 6 am) also left me no time to sleep, as I am woken up every four hours (12 am, 4 am, 8am, etc) to be given my anti-contraction medication. I was also able to convince them that it was an impossibility, as it was taking 1.5 or so hours to get 30 minutes of heart beat monitoring. The little gals just are too small and don’t stay put.

Belly pic at 26+1 day in hosp

How your baby's growing: Your baby now weighs a little under 2 pounds and measures about 14 inches, from head to heel. The nerve pathways in her ears are developing, which means her response to sounds is growing more consistent. Her lungs are developing now, too, as she continues to take small breaths of amniotic fluid — good practice for when she's born and takes that first breath of air. (well obviously not for our prom princess)

Some days the contractions are very quiet, and other days (like yesterday) they happen quite often. When they are going like crazy, it gets everyone all riled up and of course gets me worried. It’s much nicer when my abdomen is calm.

My Prom Princess continues to leak and has not reaccumulated any fluid. The Doctors have not changed their story about her poor prognosis for survival no matter how long I can last and the fact that I’m still likely to get an infection “at any moment”. They are fearful of giving me too many drugs to mask contractions in case that is a sign of my body going into labor due to infection. The risk of infection to the babies is worse than if they were to be delivered at this point. A 26.5 week baby is still very, very early, but an infected baby is worse.
My mind is still set on the fact that I’m going to reach 32 weeks. I’ve had that number set for a long time now. When I started having a slight fever on Sunday night and everyone was on high-alert that I would have to go into surgery, I just kept telling myself that it wasn’t time, I wasn’t infected and that my girls still were not ready to enter into this world. I guess it worked! My fever never really spiked and went back down. Good thing, as the NICU at my hospital was completely full that night and I would have had to been transferred to UCSF where I don’t know a single doctor.

When I hit 28 weeks I’ll start feeling a whole lot better for the outcome of our little non-prom princess. That’s only 1.5 weeks away!

By the numbers (in no particular order):

26 3/7: Weeks of my pregnancy

9.5: Number of weeks on bedrest and since my water broke

8: Number of days in the hospital (so far)

5: Number of tubes/wires I had attached to me when I was first admitted to the hospital (2 heart rate monitors, contraction monitor, IV,pulse monitor)

25: Number of pills I take every 24 hours: 6 anti-contraction pills, 6 antibiotics (finished today!), 4 pre-natal vitamins, 2 stool softeners, 4 iron (they’ve discovered I’ve gotten very anemic); 1 Benadryl to stop my rash from itching so bad – (it’s better today); 2 sleep inducing pills, as with all the night-time interruptions I wouldn’t be sleeping at all! It all seems counter-intuitive to me, as you aren’t supposed to take anything but Tylenol when you are pregnant.

6: number of times my temperature and blood pressure are checked in 24 hours.

32: The number of weeks I’ve told myself I’m going to make it to

0: Number of items in our nursery (well, it’s actually 1, as our dog Kailan has taken a liking to sleeping in there, as if she’s protecting our little ones)

4: January 4th, my official due date.

4: The minimum number of times I can hear the strikers yelling and chanting outside my hospital window with each shift change (yes, the food, housekeeping and engineers are on strike which is making things all that much more crazy (let’s just say hospital food leaves a bit to be desired when there isn’t a strike taking place. They can’t get a lot of the food items, as the delivery trucks don’t want to cross the picket lines, and it’s all newly hired “scabs” that are doing the cooking). From what the nurses have told me, when they’ve spoken to their friends who are picketing, the majority of them don’t really know why they are striking….it supposedly for “patient care”

Pic of Strikers in front of hospital

Well, this angled, sort of one-hand typing is tough, so I’m going to call it a night for now. I will try to post more often now that I’m getting more settled.